Showing posts with label headline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label headline. Show all posts

Monday, 7 August 2017

The Dead Ground by Claire McGowan

The Dead Ground (Paula McGuire, #2)The Dead Ground by Claire McGowan
My rating: 4 of 5 stars



Stolen. Missing. Dead...

Forensic psychologist Paula Maguire, already wrestling with the hardest decision of her life, is forced to put her own problems on hold when she's asked to help find a baby taken from a local hospital.

Then the brutal, ritualistic murder of a woman found lying on a remote stone circle indicates a connection to the kidnapping and Paula knows that they will have to move fast if they are to find the person responsible.

When another child is taken and a pregnant woman goes missing, Paula finds herself caught up in a deadly hunt for a killer determined to leave no trace, and discovers every decision she makes really is a matter of life and death...

No one is safe from the killer that waits at the dead ground.



Clever and compelling story line with enough twists and turns to keep you going to the end. This had a reasonably good pace and believable characters, peppered with Irish charm it made this crime thriller an absorbing read. The novel was billed as the last in the series and I had not read the previous two but felt that this was easily able to be a stand alone book as the characters were easy to identify with. Set in Ballyterrin on the Irish border Paula McGuire is a forensic psychologist the daughter of an ex policeman father who is living back home and working on a stolen baby case. Paula is still very much haunted by the disappearance of her own mother when she was 13 and at 30 she is still unable to form lasting relationships because of it.

Paula is a likeable character with a strength and vulnerability that make her instantly real. A modern novel, it makes full use of technology and social media platforms which will connect with a young readership. It was a good plot with enough twists to keep the interest alive until the reveal. A well deserved 4 stars for this entertaining novel and I have made a mental note to look out for Claire McGowan's next novel.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.

Wednesday, 17 May 2017

Gone Without a Trace by Mary Torjussen

Gone Without a TraceGone Without a Trace by Mary Torjussen
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

No one ever disappears completely...

You leave for work one morning.

Another day in your normal life.

Until you come home to discover that your boyfriend has gone.
His belongings have disappeared.
He hasn't been at work for weeks.
It's as if he never existed.

But that's not possible, is it?

And there is worse still to come.

Because just as you are searching for him
someone is also watching you.



Good start to this novel, I was immediately intrigued and wanted to read more. Imagine coming home one day and finding your live in boyfriend has just disappeared completely leaving nothing behind to ever suggest he was there at all. All personal possessions gone, photographs gone every trace of this person has disappeared surely you'd want to find out more? Well I suppose I'd started to make assumptions before I'd read very far into this novel so I think it's better not to have any preconceived ideas but just to read it. If you do that I think that this is a good psychological thriller because you'll get the full impact of the twist at the end. Because I have read a lot of this genre I did guess where it was going although the twist at the end was cleaver and somewhat unexpected.

I did think that the ending was a bit rushed but it was executed in such a way as to not disjoint the novel so acceptable. I was disappointed in the main character Hannah who I didn't really warm to. I suppose once you understand the twist at the end this does make her 'personality' fall into place but not really warming to the central character does make it a more difficult read. Having said this, the plot, the pace and the overall execution of the novel were well done and I was not bored charging along through the book in two sittings. I think the thing to remember is that we are 'hearing' this through the main characters dialogue and emotions and being obsessed with finding Matt her boyfriend she does become irrational at times which does skew what is real and what is imaginary as she progresses along a path of self destruction.

It was a good twisty psychological thriller and a satisfactory read, I would definitely read more from this author and would give this 3.5 stars, rounded up to 4 for goodreads and Amazon.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.

Wednesday, 26 April 2017

The Naturalista: Recipes for a healthier, happier life by Xochi Balfour

The Naturalista: Recipes for a healthier, happier lifeThe Naturalista: Recipes for a healthier, happier life by Xochi Balfour
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Xochi Balfour changed her life from her little London kitchen and, as The Naturalista, has been blogging about her experience of balancing and simplifing her life in harmony with the natural world. Without recourse to expensive ingredients, all-consuming cleanses or dramatic diets, Xochi has taken the principles of naturopathy and created a way of life, from a gentler way of eating to simple beauty recipes as well as bringing relaxation and mindfulness into your everyday routine.

Her food is gluten- and dairy-free and predominantly plant based, but straightforward and delicious, her skincare recipes can also be made from kitchen ingredients and her techniques for everyday mindfulness can be fitted into the busiest of lives. Her recipes include power balls and energy bars, raw chocolate, sea salt and pistachio fudge, cornershop turmeric and coconut dahl and beetroot falafel as well as a gluten-free carrot and flax bread. For your body, there is a rosewater facial spray, passionfruit and papaya face mask and lavender and shea butter body lotion, while for your home, Xochi will show you the benefits of barefoot earthing and how to make your own incense.

This is truly a bright and beautiful guide to natural living in the modern age.



I thought this would be great for healthy recipes and it does have these in, along with beautiful photography. This book looks more at changing your lifestyle rather than just cooking one or two healthy recipes, which is great if you are looking for that kind of book.

The recipes are easy to follow and are clear.

I would recommend this for anyone looking at changing their lifestyle to make healthier choices.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.

Monday, 27 March 2017

The One-in-a-Million Boy by Monica Wood

The One-in-a-Million BoyThe One-in-a-Million Boy by Monica Wood
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The story of your life never starts at the beginning. Don't they teach you anything at school?

So says 104-year-old Ona to the 11-year-old boy who's been sent to help her out every Saturday morning. As he refills the bird feeders and tidies the garden shed, Ona tells him about her long life, from first love to second chances. Soon she's confessing secrets she has kept hidden for decades.

One Saturday, he doesn't show up. Ona starts to think he's not so special after all, but then his father Quinn arrives on her doorstep, determined to finish his son's good deed. The boy's mother is not so far behind. Ona is set to discover that even at her age the world can surprise you, and that sometimes sharing a loss is the only way to find yourself again.




Bit of a weepy one this - as the blub suggests its a story about the unlikely friendship of a records obsessed 11 year old boy who is tasked to do odd jobs for a 104 year old woman at her decaying property so he can earn his scouting badge.

The old lady Ona and the young boy develop a strong friendship and she looks forward to him coming round to help her more than she thought she would. One week he doesn't come and she is left wondering what has happened to him we then discover that he has died quite suddenly and his father Quinn goes round the Ona's to finish what his son has started.

Through Ona Quinn discovers the wonderful son he never really knew and he and his wife Belle learn to release the love they had for their son and understand why he was so happy coming to Ona every week. They learn a lot about themselves, grief and friendship.

It is a lovely journey sad and happy and a good read but be prepared to cry and make sure you have some tissues at the ready.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.

Monday, 23 January 2017

The Year of Saying Yes Part 1: It Started with a Dare: The ultimate laugh-out-loud, feel-good rom-com by Hannah Doyle

The Year of Saying Yes Part 1: It Started with a Dare: The ultimate laugh-out-loud, feel-good rom-comThe Year of Saying Yes Part 1: It Started with a Dare: The ultimate laugh-out-loud, feel-good rom-com by Hannah Doyle
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Join Izzy on her journey from January blues to joy. THE YEAR OF SAYING YES by Hannah Doyle will make you dirty-laugh, feel warm and fuzzy, and rediscover life's magic - all thanks to one little word: yes. Fans of Lindsey Kelk, Mhairi McFarlane and Lucy-Anne Holmes, you're in for a real treat.

The first of four exclusive part-serialisations of THE YEAR OF SAYING YES by Hannah Doyle.

Dear Readers

It's drizzling outside, which totally matches my #currentmood. Pigs in blankets, all the mince pies and a festive Baileys or five are distant memories. You know the drill - it's January. Everyone's banning booze (terrible idea) or cutting carbs (impossible). To add to the misery pile, my plans to seduce the man of my dreams at the stroke of midnight flopped spectacularly.

I'm Izzy. I don't just need a New Year resolution, I need a whole new life. And I need YOU. My dreary life is about to get a total makeover - it's my 'Year of Saying Yes'. And this is where you come in. It's up to you to #DareIzzy. I'm saying yes to your challenges, no matter how nuts, adventurous or wild they are. The sky's the limit - I'm at your mercy, readers!

Wish me luck. I have a feeling I'm going to need it.

Love

Izzy x



I picked this up one afternoon, I was in the mood to really get my teeth into something and as it was only just over 80 pages I thought this would be a good one. I am so glad I picked this up. I had no idea what it was going to be about, (I had an idea looking at the front cover but that was it.)

This was such an easy and fun read. We get thrown into Izzy's life one new years eve. It is the same as always, at her parents house and the rest of the family, with her 'perfect' sister and her wonderful boyfriend. After the evening takes a bit of a U turn, Izzy decides things are going to be different this year and after arriving at her desk (At a magazine firm) after the holidays she realises for the last 3 years, her resolutions have always been the same and she has never managed to stick to them.

After a discussion with her boss and work colleagues, it is decided, Izzy is going to start saying yes to things this year. These 'dares' are going to be sent in from the readers of the magazine and which ever ones are chosen she needs to say yes to. This is a massive step out of Izzy's comfort zone but after having a think she decides that doing the same old has never got her anywhere and this could be the start of something great. She accepts the challenges and we go on a journey with Izzy to discover what these are.

Part one takes us up to the first 3 months of the year and each month she has had a different 'dare' so far I am loving this story, it is such an easy read. It is funny and I felt I could relate to it. I really like Izzy as a character and cannot wait to see what else the author has in store for us. Lately I have thought my reading has been a bit 'flat' and it has taken me ages to get into a book and really enjoy it, this one has got me out of my reading slump and reminded me why I enjoy reading so much.

If you are looking for a little 'pick me up' I would recommend this, this is just what you need to cheer you up on a dull and damp January evening. The other mega bonus is that this book is currently free on Amazon Kindle right now, so you have no excuses, go and buy!


I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review. 

Wednesday, 28 December 2016

The Stranger In My Home by Adele Parks

The Stranger In My HomeThe Stranger In My Home by Adele Parks
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

What would YOU do if your child wasn't yours?

Alison is lucky and she knows it. She has the life she always craved, including a happy home with Jeff and their brilliant, vivacious teenage daughter, Katherine - the absolute centre of Alison's world.

Then a knock at the door ends life as they know it.

Fifteen years ago, someone else took Alison's baby from the hospital. And now Alison is facing the unthinkable.

The daughter she brought home doesn't belong to her.

When you have everything you dreamed of, there is everything to lose.


Always in for a good bit of story telling with Adele Parks and this book doesn't disappoint. Dealing with the sensitive issue of taking the wrong babies from hospital this spans 15 years before the truth comes out. Really well written, Adele manages to tell the tale while creating good believable characters and throwing in a few twists along the way.

I have to admit I did guess what was going on although it was really well camouflaged and although I was right it didn't detract from the suspense she crafted so well in the book.

Really what can I say, Adele Parks is one of the masters and although I did think the book was a tad overlong it was nevertheless a good read and recommended to Parks fans or new Parks readers alike. A well deserved 4 stars from me.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.

Friday, 18 March 2016

Look at Me by Sarah Duguid

Look at MeLook at Me by Sarah Duguid
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Lizzy's mother died two years ago, leaving a family bereft by her absence and a house still filled with her things. Then, one day, Lizzy finds a letter from a stranger to her father, and discovers he has another child. Lizzy invites her into their world in an act of outraged defiance. Almost immediately, she realises her mistake.

This was an easy read as it was quite short and moved along with good pace. Not really a book that you could easily pop into a genre category as it had elements of a psychological thriller that could have been developed more but it was also about relationships, family dynamics and secrets.


Told by the main character Lizzie a struggling actress it follows what happens when she discovers that she has a sister she knew nothing about after she discovers a letter from Eunice (her half-sister) written to her father Julian. She confronts him and is determined to contact Eunice much to the dismay of her father and her brother Ig who prefer to let 'sleeping dogs lie'.


Once she has made contact things seem to move on at a pace when Eunice wants to meet Lizzie and finally worms her way into staying at the family home when she splits with her husband Mike. Things then appear to take a more sinister turn (this is when I believed it might be a psychological thriller) when Eunice seems to 'take over' in the house, making herself indispensable, poking into Lizzie's mothers things, putting her stamp on everything. This was such a good opportunity to develop the psychological thriller angle but it didn't happen.


We learn of Lizzy's past, Julian's love of her mother and a little about Ig her brother. Ig's character is not really developed and I felt that Lizzy's relationship with 'the director' was a bit weird. Certainly that we never learn his name is strange and makes her relationship with him appear to be very unnatural almost creepy.


Eunice appears to be neurotic and controlling, one moment appearing naive and childlike the next manipulative and scheming and I got the feeling that she was not to be trusted. In the beginning the family appear to welcome her into their home but little by little she starts to manipulate and control them.


With Lizzy having lost her mother only a few years before we see the whole family are still trying to process their grief and this really allows Eunice to gain a foothold as she slowly takes over almost without anyone really noticing - except Lizzy. When Eunice suggests clearing out some of Lizzy's mothers things that's the last straw for Lizzy and she just wants Eunice out of their lives.


I felt that the ending of the story lacked punch, I was expecting much more. I felt that Eunice arrival and her effect on the family forced them to move on after the death of the mother but Eunice character was under developed, we knew little about her apart from her being their half sister, nothing of her marriage and why she left Mike in the first place, why he took her back when she left Julian's or anything about her mother's relationship with Lizzy's father Julian.


All the characters had flaws and defects which made this fractured family work but I just felt there was something missing and the ending was not strong enough and for that reason I have given this 3 stars.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.

Monday, 22 February 2016

The Butterfly Summer by Harriet Evans

The Butterfly SummerThe Butterfly Summer by Harriet Evans
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

What magic is this?

You follow the hidden creek towards a long-forgotten house.

They call it Keepsake, a place full of wonder ... and danger. Locked inside the crumbling elegance of its walls lies the story of the Butterfly Summer, a story you've been waiting all your life to hear.

This house is Nina Parr's birthright. It holds the truth about her family - and a chance to put everything right at last.




I really enjoyed this book although it did whizz back and forth in time but once the characters from the eras' were established it was easier to follow.


Essentially a story about a dysfunctional family and secrets and obligations that pass from female generation to generation binding them all together for an eternity. It starts at the end really where the present day Nina meets an old woman in the London Library where she has been given life membership by her father before he went away when she was a child and who she never sees again believing him to be dead. This chance meeting (or perhaps it wasn't chance) starts her on a journey of discovery about her life, lineage and inheritance of Keepsake and the butterflies.


Nina has been bought up by her mother Delilah and step father Malc with a little help from Mrs Poll who suddenly moved into the top flat of the house they lived in when Nina was about 6 months old. She proved to be a godsend to the exhausted Deliah and she helped to bring Nina up, like a real life fairy godmother she shared their lives until she died when Nina was 25. When she died she bequeathed her flat to them so they eventually ended up owning the whole house. We meet Nina just as she is getting a divorce from Sebastian who she met in university and after being together only a year they get married which they both realised quite quickly was a mistake. They remained good friends after the divorce probably better friends than when they were married.


Harriet Evans then takes us through several generations of the Parr family and expertly intertwines these characters together even though all the female members of the family were quite different their stories were authentic and characters believable. After meeting the present day Nina we are introduced to her ancestor Lady Nina who has a daughter Charlotte the product of a union between Nina and King Charles II when he was sheltering from the Roundheads he hid at Keepsake. He was enchanted with the butterfly garden that Nina had cultivated. When he hears he has a daughter he sends Nina a diamond brooch shaped like a butterfly which Charlotte wears and gives to her own daughter before she dies. The King also decrees that Keepsake be given to his daughter Charlotte and every daughter born there. On the broach is inscribed 'What's loved is never lost'.


The story hinges around the inheritance but also about wrongs that were done and sacrifices made to right those wrongs to atone for mistakes made generations before the present Nina was born. You can feel the force of those generations reaching out across time which makes this a compelling read.


I never tell too much about a book I review but urge you to read this one; its well written, hauntingly sad in places but satisfying in it's conclusion. I did guess the outcome but it does not really become obvious until the last few chapters at least it didn't for me. I enjoyed the journey of these females as they accepted responsibility of their inheritance and the burden that it bought them.


I have given this a well deserved 4 stars.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Hello, Goodbye, and Everything in Between by Jennifer E. Smith

Hello, Goodbye, and Everything in BetweenHello, Goodbye, and Everything in Between by Jennifer E. Smith
My rating: 3 of 5 stars



One night. A life-changing decision. And a list...

Of course Clare made a list. She creates lists for everything. That's just how she is.

But tonight is Clare and Aidan's last night before college and this list will decide their future, together or apart.

It takes them on a rollercoaster ride through their past - from the first hello in science class to the first conversation at a pizza joint, their first kiss at the beach and their first dance in a darkened gymnasium - all the way up to tonight.

A night of laughs, fresh hurts, last-minute kisses and an inevitable goodbye.

But will it be goodbye forever or goodbye for now?



I have read many of Jennifer E Smith's books and enjoyed every one of them, this however I didn't enjoy as much and won't be a firm favourite of mine.

This story takes place over twelve hours, on the last night before Clare and Aidan go to college. They have been together a while, child hood sweethearts but now they are going to be at other ends of the country and Clare feels they need to break up. This is when I begin to have issues with this book. Clare and Aidan are young and they are in love but Clare seems to cynical and depressing. She is obsessed with reasons they need to break up and can't go to college as one. Aidan seems to just want to enjoy this time with her and doesn't see why they can't stay together but Clare is just so negative. It got to points in the book where I was going to put it down as I was done listening to Clare being negative. Clare I didn't warm to at all, she was easy to dislike as a character for reasons I have already mentioned , she is also not a nice friend to Stella, who was meant to be her best friend. She also seems like the cannot make a decision further in the book. This just becomes annoying.

Aidan, however I did like, there were times I felt sorry for him and he just wanted to please everyone, he has a tough time of it with his family, Clare doesn't help to support at all but just makes it about her. (College application) He also genuinely loves Clare but that love doesn't seem to be returned as it should.

This story just seemed a little immature for me at times and I really didn't like Clare, this effected my overall enjoyment of this book. I would not recommend this to anyone over about the age of 25 as I think you will become as annoyed as me reading this book. It would be a good read if you are around the age of the characters and heading off to college/university and are in a similar situation as Clare. I do enjoy Jennifer E Smith as an author and I would still want to read others by her, this however I don't feel is her strongest and I was disappointed by it.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.

Monday, 28 September 2015

Beautiful Day by Elin Hilderbrand

Beautiful DayBeautiful Day by Elin Hilderbrand
My rating: 1 of 5 stars



The Carmichaels and Grahams have gathered on Nantucket for a wedding. Plans are being made according to the wishes of the bride's late mother, who left behind The Notebook: specific instructions for every detail of her youngest daughter's future nuptials. Everything should be falling into place for the beautiful event - but in reality, things are far from perfect.

While the couple-to-be are quite happy, their loved ones find their own lives crumbling. In the days leading up to the wedding, love will be questioned, scandals will arise, and hearts will be broken . . .

In BEAUTIFUL DAY Elin Hilderbrand takes readers on a journey into the heart of marriage, what it means to be faithful, and how we choose to honour our commitments.



Well what can I say? I never like giving a bad review and generally can find something about a book that I liked sadly Beautiful Day is the exception - I can't think of a single nice thing to say about this book. It was so boring and depressing in parts that I didn't even finish reading it which for me is unheard of.

Most authors manage to create a work of fiction that transcends all cultures and nationalities so that anyone can identify with it no matter where they are in the world. Not so this author - it was SO American that it seemed to want to exclude all non Americans. References that made little or no sense (unless I am assuming you are American) which was so frustrating. I found the whole subject matter very miserable and morbid, reminding the reader constantly that the daughters' dying mothers' wishes for the perfect wedding for her daughter will be one occasion that she will not live to see. There were attempts at humour but frankly the whole thing left me feeling depressed. This was one of 4 novels I took on holiday with me to review and it was the last one I read; thank goodness otherwise I may never have got round to reading anything else on holiday!

I can't tell you how it ended as I didn't bother reading to the end, I could not even bring myself to skim read it either. I feel bad about writing such a stinging review but feel that there was nothing redeeming about the book at all. I'm afraid that it only merits a 1 from me - the wedding still hadn't taken place by page 285 out of an astonishing 401 pages - this could easily have been cut down. Laboriously slow paced, it was schmaltzy, overindulgent and depressing - sorry.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.

Friday, 25 September 2015

How I Lost You by Jenny Blackhurst

How I Lost YouHow I Lost You by Jenny Blackhurst
My rating: 3 of 5 stars



They told her she killed her son. She served her time. But what if they lied?

I have no memory of what happened but I was told I killed my son. And you believe what your loved ones, your doctor and the police tell you, don't you?

My name is Emma Cartwright. Three years ago I was Susan Webster, and I murdered my twelve-week-old son Dylan. I was sent to Oakdale Psychiatric Institute for my crime, and four weeks ago I was released early on parole with a new identity, address and a chance to rebuild my tattered life.

This morning, I received an envelope addressed to Susan Webster. Inside it was a photograph of a toddler called Dylan. Now I am questioning everything I believe because if I have no memory of the event, how can I truly believe he's dead?

If there was the smallest chance your son was alive, what would you do to get him back?



I enjoyed this psychological thriller but it didn't quite pack the punch of 'Done Girl', 'Until You're Mine' and others that I have read recently. Essentially it's about a woman(Ellen Cartwright) who is told she killed her son Dylan, she has no memory of having done this but is sent to a psychiatric unit ad serves 3 years. The story is taken up upon her release from the hospital early on parole with a new identity (now Susan Webster) and her chance to build a new life. Her only real friend is an inmate in the unit called Cassie who she has confided in while she served her time. Cassie is also released around the same time and they remain very close. While Ellen (Susan) is trying to rebuild her life she is sent a photograph of a boy about her sons' age and on the reverse of the photo is written 'Dylan January 2013' - she believes that this is her son and he is alive. She can easily believe this as she never remembered killing him and always refused to believe it. The only reason she accepted that she probably had a breakdown and killed Dylan is that her husband Mark and family doctor persuade her that's what happened.

Convinced Dylan is alive and she has been tricked the book follows her pursuit of the truth as she gets ever nearer to discovering what really happened that awful night 3 years before. I don't want to give too much away as it does have some good twists and turns although some are guessable not all are which helps to hold this together until the end. It was predictable in parts but having said this is was an easy read which I managed in just one day making it easier to review. I did however think that the second half of the book was a bit rushed and the relationship of the characters became a bit muddled but I did enjoy it overall and would give it 3 stars. Not quite up there with the best in psychological thrillers but an enjoyable read none the less.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.

Thursday, 27 August 2015

Exclusive Short Story by Emylia Hall - The Seashell

I am extremely excited to the able to bring this post to you today. I recently entered a competition to win a short story by Emylia Hall. Emylia has got a new book out today and to celebrate this she has written me an exclusive short story!!! 

This short story you will find no where else, so you can imagine how pleased I was when I found out I was the winner! 

Anyway back to the short story! - I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

The Seashell

Emylia Hall



I stood in my kitchen, holding in my hand a dogwhelk. It was pretty enough, with its pointed end and so smooth shape, but not an uncommon shell, not, to many, an object of particular curiosity. But I folded my fingers around it, and held it tightly. To me, it was one of the most remarkable things I’d ever seen.

Ever since I left home, I’ve been a gatherer of seashells, a collector of shoreline curiosities. I’m the person you see skirting the edges of the tide, with their head dipped, eyes fixed. I stoop to pick up rounded fragments of sea glass, lengths of razor clam, a piece of cuttlebone looking just like a bar of soap gone dry in a dish. I’ve made many a necklace threaded with periwinkles, the sound of clicking and clacking accompanying me wherever I’ve gone - and on the infrequent occasions when my path has crossed with my mother’s, a tut-tut-tut joining in, the sound of her obvious disapproval.

My mother was never one for trinkets, and certainly not the salvaged kind. There were no rings on her fingers, no flowers in her hair. Apart from a single string of pearls, an occasional bracelet, she was an unadorned woman. Starchy, in truth. She always told me that she didn’t believe in happy endings, and yet when her time came she was sleeping in a chair by the fire, her old cat Sammy curled in her lap. She was eighty-three, and I know those years of hers will have contained mysteries I’ll never, ever fathom, but I thought I had the basic measure of her, all the same. I thought I knew the person she was. Brisk, and tightly buttoned. A hard hand, and a harder tongue. For most of my childhood she rode a blue bicycle without any sense of pleasure. The socks she wore were always beige, and always matched.

When she passed away, she left me her jewellery box. Even though some part of it seemed familiar – the black lacquered lid, perhaps, or the pale velvet lining – I’m sure I don’t remember it from my childhood. I’m surprised, in truth, that she owned enough pieces to warrant a box to keep them in. Although, perhaps this last makes sense, because for my mother, everything

had its place. All was boxed. Where else to keep a string of pearls? Certainly not on her bedside table, coiled like a sleeping snake. Inside, alongside her necklace, I found a plain brooch, her silver bracelet, a scattering of hairpins and… a seashell. I’d taken it out, so very carefully, holding it between my finger and thumb. I’d held it to the light, as though looking for a silver mark, or the kind of hologram that appears on banknotes. I’d peered inside it, its interior as pale and delicate looking as the underside of a wrist. The faintest traces of beach sand were still caught in its groove.

I’d thought of him, then. My father. Or the few pictures I’d seen of him, anyway. Their wedding day, with the two of them standing side by side on the steps of a registry office in a landlocked town. Him in a suit, straight-legged, narrow shouldered, a mass of wayward curls throw up by the wind. Her in an uncharacteristically flouncy, high-necked dress, a modest bouquet of garden flowers gripped in her hand, a nervous not-quite laughing mouth. Another version of him – this time holding me, the baby me, the only picture I have of the two of us together. I’m curled in the crook of his arm, tight as a limpet to a rock, and on his face he wears a look of puzzlement – as though he’d seen the world in a grain of sand and found it to be nothing like he’d imagined.

I know he’d been living by the sea when they’d met, and that she’d lured him inland, briefly, to a place where seagulls still wheeled in the skies but didn’t know how it was to steal a chip from a holidaymaker’s fingers. My parents lived in a terrace of miners’ cottages, with a fire that spat sparks on a grey rug and a wailing baby in the room upstairs. My mother hadn’t held on to him for long. Nor I, despite the mollusc me, the limpet me, soft-headed and pudgy-handed and wrapped in a blanket that my grandmother would never have knitted us. He went back to the waves, she said, followed that siren song all the way to the sea, leaving the pair of us tossing grimly in his wake. I suppose that was the reason why, throughout my childhood, we never went anywhere near this island nation’s shore. There were no sandy sandwiches for me. My hair never grew salted and tangled. I never stood on the shoreline,

icy water stopping my tracks, only to go running in with my skirt held up above my knees, my voice coming shrill and unguarded. I discovered these things for myself at a much grander age, my own children happily in tow, them not understanding what strange beauty it was to kick through beach sand, how very precious it was, for me, to lie as human starfish, bobbing on an incoming tide.

Now, somewhere behind me a kettle was boiling. My toast popped and stayed put. Later I’ll find it, cold and rigid. I’ll make a cup of tea with lukewarm water, and probably drink it anyway. There has always been much I haven’t known, but life has found its way of tricking me, just as it tricks so many. It has permitted me to drift, unquestioning, from one day into the next.

And now I know this: My mother kept a seashell in her jewellery box.

I release it from my hand, reluctantly, and place it on the table. The light from the window catches it, sends its surface gleaming. For a moment it appears just-washed, sea-wet, a dazzling little dogwhelk on the shoreline, ripe enough to pluck. Precious enough to pocket. While the memories it holds can’t be mine to know, I try to imagine them all the same. Or, to be more accurate, I try to imagine my mother in possession of them. Permitting herself this much, after all. Sitting on the edge of her bed in her brown slippers and stiff housecoat, a certain look, one I never once saw, or perhaps never recognised, lighting her eyes. Or dozing in an armchair by the fire, lulled by the softest sound of the sea, not an uncomplicated sound, but neither a wholly unwanted one. Or, only really for the first time, I see her walking by the water, back when she was young, and breezy, and, I like to think, in love. The world is at my mother’s feet, and in her hand she holds a seashell.

The Sea Between Us is Emylia's new novel out today! 


The blurb:

In a remote Cornish cove, on one of the last days of summer, Robyn Swinton is drowning. She is saved - just - by local boy Jago Winters, and it is a moment that will change both of them forever.

Over the next seven years, Robyn and Jago's paths lead them in different directions, to city streets and foreign shores. Will the bond forged that day Jago dragged Robyn in from the sea be strong enough to bring them back to one another, or has life already pulled them too far apart? - Taken from Amazon


To buy a copy of this stunning book here

I would like to thank Emylia for writing this short story and for allowing me to feature it on The Book Corner, I would also like to thank Headline for running the competition. 


Monday, 22 June 2015

The Last Honeytrap - Louise Lee Blog Tour



It is my turn on the blog tour of The Last Honeytrap, I have been lucky enough to be given an extract from the book. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. 



The Human Zoo 

The tongue in my ear belongs to the Dutch Minister for Security and Justice. We are huddled in a dimly lit corner of the 101, an exclusive members’ club in London’s Mayfair. A popular haunt for the rich and famous, the bar has a discreet, almost diaphanous waiter service. Dark oak panels, cubbyholes, anonymous jazz – it’s the perfect place in which to disappear. Minister de Groot was hoping for such a night – quiet, uninterrupted, with just an indiscreetly plopped bodyguard for company. The bullet-stopper is three tables behind us. I spotted him as soon as I walked in; talking to his wrist, feigning nonchalance. Gustav is his name, and although I can’t see him at the moment, I can feel his eyes. They bore into my back like a wolf watching a cocky caribou, because quite uninvited, I sashayed directly to the bar and sat beside his boss. He has no need to fret. Minister de Groot is the biggest fish I’ve ever had to sear; cocky I’m not. Indeed, the minister took a while to bite, given his distinguished job, one in which he helps run the entire world. Yes, he humoured me, agreed to buy me a drink, but his chest remained pointed ahead, both hands defending a tumbler of Glendronach. I put the minister’s mind at rest. Played silently with my wedding ring. I have as much to lose as you, the gold band whispered up at him. His eyes flicked north to my chest . . .  With the right posture and bra, I have an impeccable décolletage. A physically unappealing teenager, I deserved a little aesthetic luck. It arrived five years ago, when, without warning, my face and body fell into place. I was twentyseven. For a year I watched myself blossom. To cement the good work, I studied the Alexander Technique and bought a biofit uplift bra. Voluptuous yet chaste, that’s what a guy said at the time. He worked at the post office, at the counter next to mine. You’re the type of bird men want to deflower; until you open your mouth, he said. I’ve never been so happy – attractive at last. Alternative life choices cascaded like ticker tape. Next Minister de Groot studied my face . . . I would like to think it conveys intelligence. Not too much – my IQ would frighten them off – just a soupçon. Enough to reassure them: women like me don’t end up in an underwearclad kiss and tell. They’re right, I don’t. That’s not my style. I doubt very much that the minister wondered about my current job, which is a shame. It could have saved him a whole world of shit. Plus from a personal point of view it’s ever so nice when the target shows an interest in you. They rarely do. And that disappoints me, because I always show an interest in them. Tonight, for example. I asked about his accent, the purpose of his visit, his tie – Aspinal of London; he’d smoothed it flat, all proud like a tourist. This, an extraordinarily bright man who makes decisions on behalf of a nation, gooey at the groin because I complimented his neckwear – ugly neckwear with no practical purpose other than to point directions to his beef bayonet. Yet as he stroked the paisley sliver of silk, he repositioned his knees to face me, a manoeuvre that speaks volumes – he was inviting his groin to join in the conversation.  Tonight was a goer. Kinesics fact: human communication consists of ninetythree per cent body language and paralinguistic cues. That leaves just seven per cent for actual words, which are very easily manipulated; whereas body language is subliminal and extremely hard to fake, unless you’re a Royal Marine or a psychopath. The silent language, they call it, and I’m fluent. I’d never visited Holland, I told the minister, not properly. The culture nevertheless fascinated me . . . This gave him the floor – a luxury wives tend not to bestow – and throughout his soliloquy I giggled, asked pertinent questions and placed flirtatious fingers on his arm, each time counting to three in my head. Touch test fact: if a date returns your touch within ten minutes, there is sexual chemistry. On a successful first date, there will be three sets of touching, three seconds apiece. Tonight there were eight. By 9.53 p.m. the minister had slow-danced me away from the bar and into a booth. Here he ordered champagne, homed in on my neck and wheedled a route to my ear. That’s where we’re at now. And although I’m satisfied with my success so far, I’ve had quite enough of my ear being licked. Women like me, however, have a game to play. We titter inanely. We stroke the pride of unprincipled men. We remind ourselves constantly that this job is a worthy way to make a pound. Or in tonight’s case, thousands of the little buggers. The minister had assumed we’d be making our way to the Mayfair Hotel. The Schiaparelli Suite, to be precise – that’s where he generally takes his conquests. It’s a shame really. According to the literature, the suite is named after the designer who first unleashed fuchsia on a glamour-starved  world. Antique Chinese art, pink pony-skin bed dressing, I’m sorely tempted to pop along just to have a peek. Trouble is, I have a very strict rule. Never go back to theirs on a first date. There’s a further rule too. Don’t shit on your own doorstep. Here my brother helps me out. Lets me shit on his. Though I’m mindful not to put him in danger. Michael and I are professional partners, yes; but first and foremost I’m his big sister – it’s my duty to look after him. My brother’s only rule: never touch his stuff. He has a touch of the OCD. Yet the look I’m going for is sinuous and alluring; it’s imperative I finger ornaments and stroke the frames of black and white photos. One of the frames contains a photograph of our mother. Bambi, everyone called her. Because the world left her simultaneously startled and astonished? No. I caress her frame a little longer than the others. Because she was Italian and that was her name. Women like me usually hide evidence of their identity. Especially photos of their mums. But mine’s in no danger. It’s been twenty-five years since we saw her last – if I can’t find her, nobody can. ‘Minister de Groot,’ I swivel Bambi so she’s facing the wall, ‘a sensible offer, please.’ The minister is animated. His original assumptions about me were wrong. ‘A woman of the night,’ he is saying. ‘I had no idea.’ I am not. ‘I’d have got down to business sooner . . .’ looking through his wallet, pulling out one card after another, plumping finally for an Amex, which he proceeds to glide up and down my arm as if icing my bicep.  How many working girls back in Holland have credit-card machines? I wonder. ‘Five hundred,’ he says. ‘Excuse me?’ ‘For the night. Five hundred pounds.’ I scoff. Were I to sleep with a man for money – which incidentally hasn’t happened and never will – it would be for a good deal more than five hundred quid. ‘Six hundred, then?’ That doesn’t warrant a response. I know the minister’s paid five times that in the past. He tells people he was Maurice of Nassau, Prince of Orange, in a previous incarnation – throwing money at sexually charged serfs plays to his megalomaniacal streak. Though I’m informed that he errs towards the high-class hooker, it being safer. In a fortnight they make the same as your average tabloid exposé, so selling a story makes no business sense. Sometimes, too, prostitutes are rather nice to talk to. Unlike his wife they simply listen and nod and groan as if he’s the most desirable man they’ve ever had to fellate. Yes, a good old-fashioned, no-strings business arrangement suits the minister right down to the ground. Look at him now, I smile despite myself. He thinks he’s at a charity auction. ‘Seven hundred!’ Pushing my chest against him, I half-whisper, ‘You get what you pay for, Minister de Groot.’ I’m rather pleased with how that comes out. Counterfeit sexiness can sometimes fall flat on its face, the naff words left hanging in the air like a ring of Stilton. In this instance, however, my timing and tone are consummate. Even the minister does a half-clap. ‘You drive a hard bargain. I like it. I like you, Isabella.’  My name is not Isabella. I use it because it conjures images of ball-tingling eroticism and Latin fire. I stole it from a girl I went to school with. Isabella Purdy-Valentine. Her parents had really given that thought – the boys got erections just hearing it read out at registration. Minister de Groot has an erection – it follows me around the room like a dowsing rod. ‘Nine hundred? Come on, Isabella, that’s an awful lot of money.’ I wholeheartedly agree. It remains, however, some way off Robert Redford’s very decent proposal of one million dollars. My eyes twinkle as I smooth imaginary creases from my hips. ‘A lot of woman, Pieter, requires an awful lot of money.’ Momentarily I forget to slink as I move back to the shelving unit and reposition a hefty book: Family: Nature’s Masterpiece by Dr Dan Halliday. Were the minister to peruse this hardback, he’d see that on the front cover it says: The nuclear family – a definitive guide to happiness. That’s quite a promise. He won’t pick this book up, however. Men never pick up self-help manuals once their brains have slithered south. My first husband, now he did a lot of thinking with his genitals. Eureka moments, if you like, and they struck in the most unexpected of places, my best friend being one of them. I actually caught them at it, yet still they maintained an indignant astonishment, as if I’d accused them of something implausible, like ram-raiding or starting forest fires. He admitted his infidelity finally, though put the blame squarely in my court – I had become complacent, he told everybody; let the sexual fervour dwindle. Oh, I fought my corner. I’m just a bit shy. But guys kept their distance for a while after that, the least attractive trait in a woman being sexual sloth. Tonight my smile promises filth. ‘Isabella, Isabella. You’re bleeding me dry.’ I certainly am not. ‘Fifteen hundred?’ ‘Better.’ Secretly I look up his nose. The man’s face is fleshy and wrinkled as a Shar Pei puppy, yet he has not one strand of nasal hair – for all his faults, I like that in a man, bald sinuses. Husband Number Two was extremely hirsute. In the nude he looked like he was wearing a gorilla suit without the head. I married him on the rebound. He felt such a safe bet. Friendship surely had to be the most sensible basis for an enduring marriage? Turns out that obsessive animal passion that refuses to dissipate is the more effective ingredient. Three years of marriage and still it remained awkward in the bedroom – we went at different tempos: slow rumba and disco beat. My second husband held me a little responsible. Men don’t want to marry their sister or best friend, he told the marriage counsellor. And he was right. They’d rather opt for eternity with a domesticated whore. Bent over, checking the contents of my handbag, my face is flush with my knees. This position is called a Standing Forward Bend, or Uttanasana for the purists. My life coach taught it to me. It is supposed to evoke mental calmness, stress reduction and body awareness. Today it provides Minister de Groot with an opportunity to leer at my arse. I give him a better view; lean against the windowsill, look out on to Greek Street below, its pavement a twinkling strip of eateries, its hum as magnetic as an electric fly trap. Leaving life above ground level to dissipate clandestinely into the night – which is why so many of the top flats in this street  are walk-ins, the walk-in being a provider of legal prostitution. There’s one just across the road, nesting above the seductive rouge of a Lebanese restaurant. I look back down at the street – holding gently on to the sill because I suffer a smidge of vertigo – and peruse bald patches, ponytails, the roof of a black Bentley Continental Flying Spur, the minister’s bullet-saver leaning against the driver’s door. Unblinking, he stares back up at me. His look is one of repugnance. Total fact: it should be one of marvel, because I know an awful lot about him . . . His full name is Gustav Aart Nijstad, and he is one of perhaps twelve people in Holland who cannot speak English better than the English. Maybe his non-bilingualism is a deliberate show of patriotism – he is an extraordinarily dedicated employee of the Netherlands government, and particularly of Minister de Groot. His job is to accompany and guard his protectee to the death (his own), which he’d do in a heartbeat if only someone would just launch an attack. When not waiting for assassins, however, Gustav can find himself sitting outside hotel rooms and walk-ins. Naturally he is bound by a contract that ensures the minister’s frolics remain top secret. The contract is, however, unnecessary. He’d triple-jump into hot oil rather than compromise Pieter de Groot. In fact if Gustav had any friends, they’d take the piss, say he had a crush on his blubbery boss; and he’d shoot them in the head because Gustav’s so far in the closet, he’s emigrated to Narnia. I am well apprised. Then again, my contact is excellent. Look at him – I give the bullet-saver a finger wave. His chin strains up at me, at his beloved boss somewhere in the room behind me; he reminds me of a lovelorn meerkat. Spinning back around, I sit on the sill, my back against  cold glass, and issue the minister with a thin, honest smile – because Pieter de Groot is living on the edge. Unlike Gustav, I have not signed a contract. Well, I did once, when I started at the post office, but that was ten years ago and unless Minister de Groot was mentioned in the small print, I’m pretty sure I can say what I like to whomever I like. Silly man. Minister de Groot moves at me, grabs my waist, manoeuvres me towards the hall as if I’m a delightfully petulant child. ‘Fifteen hundred it is then,’ he says, no-nonsense. ‘Let’s take this to the bedroom.’ There is one bedroom in the apartment – my brother’s room, a no-go area, always. As a matter of damage limitation I pull the minister on to the sofa. The weight of his stomach drives every drop of air from the scatter cushions beneath me, scatter cushions I should always place in a tidy stack against the wall – extremely important rule. Now the minister rediscovers my ear. ‘Two thousand.’ I push him out of my neck. ‘But you can’t stay the night,’ ‘Done.’ His smile is triumphant. ‘I’d have given you five.’ I maintain my cool. Not one penny will change hands this evening, yet I feel duped, totally duped – the minister now considers me a bargain. ‘So, Minister. Have you done this kind of thing before? You know . . .’ I spell it out, ‘paid women to sleep with you?’ He is thoroughly amused. Rearranges himself. My internal organs sigh with relief. ‘And why, Isabella, do you ask?’ ‘Because I’ve met many men like you, Pieter. Rich men. Powerful men. Extremely famous men. And it never fails to fascinate me – the indiscretions of such commanding individuals as yourself.’  I slap his bottom hard and summon a look that says: Tell me how despicable you are, because, by God, I fucking love it. That look has taken some work. His shrug is indulgent, unrepentant. ‘I’m a very bad man. I have an uncontrollable penchant for working girls. And you, Isabella, are one in a rather long line.’ ‘You disgust me.’ My smile is genuine. ‘Tell me more.’ His confession is elaborate and depraved. Now and then he dry-humps my thigh, but mainly he concentrates on telling me filthy secrets. I can see he’s enjoying this bit the best. And as his admission gathers momentum, it dawns on me. How remarkable that it took me two failed marriages to work out a simple universal truth – that strange is erotic. Once aware of this truth, other truths became apparent. Like, the institution of marriage is flawed, as is monogamy, as is truth and respect and honour, because at some point a less attractive person, dim-witted, maybe unkind, will turn your partner’s head. In the black of night he’ll be pretending your shoulder blades, the small of your back, your buttocks are hers. And it will be for one reason only. She is not you. Anything that is not you will be sexier. Because strange is so bloody erotic, it makes a mockery of love, leaving marriage as the cruellest joke ever. The minister’s confession over, I watch him fumble with his belt – he is ready to seal the deal. Hurry up, I beg of my brother, because he’s cutting it fine. And when, at last, I see him come into the room, I scream; not too loudly – the neighbours might knock – just loud enough for Minister de Groot to stop unbuckling and look up from the sofa. ‘Fuck,’ he shrieks, because a man of baby-giraffe proportions looks down on us. My brother’s name is Michael, after St Michael the Archangel. Six feet two, twenty-eight years old, lateral muscles like folded-up wings. Erudite-looking, singularly benevolent, a total mix between Noël Coward and Lennie Small (the mentally impaired lovable murderer in Of Mice and Men) – only my brother is strawberry blond, with a beautiful West Country lilt, its undulating song as familiar as the Purbeck Hills, if you’re from Dorset. He’s also a very mediocre actor, so even I’m surprised at the menace with which he says, ‘You are squashing my fucking cushions.’ Bewildered, the minister flies to his feet, half holds out a hand. Formalities don’t interest Michael. He’s in character – the aggrieved husband. Revolted, he glares at the stranger in his living room whilst pointing a rigid finger in my direction. ‘She’s a married woman,’ he spits. Technically this is true. Though I haven’t seen Husband Number Two in years, he’s no doubt looking for me. Eager to untie the knot and retie it with some domesticated whore he picked up in Poole. Well, he can look for me all he likes. I intend on doing her a favour. ‘You’re married?’ The minister looks at me, sickened, like he didn’t notice the ring; and I in turn shrug at the unfaithful father of four, because mine is a very long story. Not that he’s interested. They never are. He simply holds his hands aloft as if Michael is pointing a gun and gestures desperately at the door with his chin. Let me live, the minister’s eyes beg. But Michael has first to sob at me, ‘How could you do this?’ My heart sinks for him. He’s never landed an acting gig. Years of drama school and Michael still struggles with angst. The minister doesn’t notice – he’s too intent on squeezing  a route past him and out of the front door, back to his trusted Gustav. There is no backward glance from Pieter de Groot. No request for my telephone number. No plan ever to meet in the future. Categorically I will never see the Dutch Minister for Security and Justice ever again. In the silence of the living room, my brother and I look at one another and sigh. He picks up a scatter cushion as though it’s a dead dog. Quickly I fetch my purse. ‘Buy yourself some more.’ It’s time to spend a little time chivvying him along, because although Michael’s been bursting in on me for a year now, he remains his own harshest critic. Sitting on the sofa, I tap the space beside me. ‘Brilliant timing, partner,’ I nod. He brushes fresh air from the coffee table. ‘I was total litter. A chimp could do better.’ ‘A chimp couldn’t bring the performance element, though, could it? How could you do this? You’ve been practising, right?’ He straightens his smoking jacket. ‘I’m trying to use my own emotions and memories.’ He squints, tries to recall what it said in the textbook. ‘I’m developing my internal sensory abilities.’ ‘Sounds hard.’ ‘It is hard.’ ‘It’s paying off, though.’ ‘Yes, it is,’ he says without modesty. ‘It’s important to consider the character’s motives; to identify with them. That’s what Christian Bale does, and Dustin Hoffman.’ ‘And the smoking jacket?’ I neaten up its velvet lapels, like a mum. ‘I’m using the Method,’ he explains. Then his eyes become wide. ‘Do you fancy sushi?’ I punch his thigh. ‘Totally.’ The ephemeral nature of his thoughts. Michael can feel a moment so passionately, only to discard it one second later in favour of a new, more intriguing one. He’s always been like that. The teachers at school were disconcerted by him – Sister Angela, whose nerves he frazzled regularly, once told him that his educational needs were special. He had been extremely sorry about the fact; had shaken the nun’s hand. Thirty-nine on the autistic spectrum sounded woefully low – he’d try harder next time. Mum called him special too, because the fleeting heartfelt moments were the very best of all, she told him earnestly. Certainly they’re the most truthful – they’ve had no time to tarnish. Asperger’s, my elbow, she said. Michael was just extraordinarily unique. I smooth the hair from his forehead. ‘Sushi it is. But first I’ve got to do my stuff. You hoover. Then we’ll eat and close this case.’ We’re too old to high-five really, but we perform one with gusto. Midnight. The vacuum cleaner roars into action and I move to the bookshelf, carefully pulling free the self-help book, Family: Nature’s Masterpiece. Its author, Dr Dan, was the relationship expert on a morning programme. The picture on the front cover shows a congenial and wise man – bald as a bowling ball, a moustache like a yard broom – who has changed the lives of a million Britons. I open the hardback. There are no pages inside. The book’s not worth the paper it’s written on. Dr Dan was later outed as an unethical businessman who abused his wife. I didn’t feel so bad then about cutting up his life’s work, replacing the sanctimonious pages with a wireless unit the size of a deck of cards. The camera’s a great bit of kit – sixty-two-degree view, three-eighty TV line quality, powerful built-in microphone, the lens peeping through an imperceptibly small hole in the book’s spine. There are also pinhole cameras in my handbag and the smoke detector above the sofa. In the wrong hands, the DVD of tonight’s proceedings could destroy the minister professionally. Political ruin, however, is not my client’s intention. I’m not hungry, but I eat – Michael loves watching me gorge on makizushi whilst congratulating him on his culinary skills. Afterwards I download the DVD of tonight’s proceedings, though not before turning the photograph on the shelf back around. I look into my mother’s eyes – they’re wide as coat buttons – and I wonder if the world remains a riddle to her. Assuming, of course, that Bambi Love still inhabits it. Two a.m. My client waits for us in the lobby of the Knightsbridge Hotel in Chelsea. Michael and I sit at the lights on the King’s Road; me in the passenger seat, Michael at the wheel tapping imprecisely to the radio – it’s free jazz, the genre of music that accompanied late-night US shows back in the seventies. The ones about talk-show radio DJs who worked on the suicide shift; and the cop shows; and the shows about serial killers with telescopes who lived opposite women who perpetually undressed for bed. Their soundtracks were always a funky fusion of lonely and sinister jazz. Like the music out of Dirty Harry – Lalo Schifrin was the composer who wrote that score. I look out of the car window. Soundtrack fact: one day, Lalo Schifrin will write the music to my life too – something experimental and timeless, fifteen  or so tracks, the dominant theme a driving percussion and restless electric bass. Assuming, of course, he’s not dead by then. To stop Lalo Schifrin from being dead by then, I do a secret sign of the cross – scratch my temple, fiddle with a button on my jacket, pick dust from the left shoulder, straighten the right sleeve. I have to perform it secretly because I don’t do God. Plus Michael would join in because he does do God, religion being a far comfier option than scientific truth. I am saying Amen with my eyes when I spot the Jiffy bag in the footwell – inside is tonight’s ensemble of video footage and still shots. It’ll be a simple handover. Nonetheless, I dread this bit. I imagine the client’s face – the nausea as she flicks through her husband’s holiday snaps – and my stomach slumps. Noticing I’ve gone quiet, Michael gives me a dead leg. ‘It’s your birthday next week,’ he tells me, all mature. I rub my thigh and stare at a teenage couple frantically kissing against a street light. ‘Bet they’re French.’ I point. ‘Flo, you have to celebrate. We could go to a club or a bar.’ ‘Sounds like a busman’s holiday.’ ‘Good,’ he says, satisfied. ‘I’ll invite Sébastien.’ ‘Yay,’ I mumble. ‘I’ll spend my birthday playing gooseberry at PDA Central.’ But public displays of affection are Michael’s speciality. He’s too faithful to the moment, way too unconcerned with diplomatic social etiquette – just like the French teenagers, who are currently kissing like it’s a life-or-death situation. ‘Do you think he’s trying to get gum out of her gullet?’ Michael becomes concerned. ‘Shout out of the window, Flo. Tell him to use his fingers.’  ‘I am actually doing a sympathy heave.’ ‘Me too,’ says Michael, even though he’s not. Flopping exhausted back into my seat, I explain birthday facts. ‘A quiet night in on my own is just the job – when you get to twenty-nine, it’s rude to keep counting.’ ‘You’ll be thirty-three.’ ‘It is infinitely more rude for you to keep counting. Let me just be on my own. I’ll watch a film or something – Sleepless in Seattle, Gone with the Wind.’ I mouth at the French lovers, ‘Something romantic.’ ‘PS I Love you.’ He makes this suggestion because he once bought me this book. I’ve not read it, though he doesn’t know that. As far as he’s concerned, I thought it a corker of a read. The light turns green. I continue to spy on the French lovers in the wing mirror until their pumping heads shrink from view. The reflection doesn’t stay empty for long. A black Triumph Scrambler trails ten metres behind. I squint into the side mirror, then turn around. Through the rear window I see only black leathers and a loud pelmet of white-blond hair; his tresses sprout from the helmet’s sides and back like a wacky hi-vis accessory. Scientific blondness fact: gentlemen might prefer them, but blonds have nothing whatsoever to be proud of. They suffer a deficiency of eumelanin, the dark pigment in hair. And on the Fischer-Saller scale of blondness, the motorcyclist behind would be ranked a paltry B. That’s virtually albino. I, on the other hand, am full of eumelanin. Like Pocahontas. That’s what a homeless drunk called me when I first arrived in London, three years ago now. A rucksack on my back, a rolled-up private investigations diploma in its  side pocket – an online course for which I achieved a hundred per cent. I was a wide-eyed newbie to the Big Smoke. The tramp was sitting on the steps at Paddington train station. Oi, Pocahontas! He shouted it with considerable venom. White spit coagulated like spunk in the corners of his mouth. Yet I smiled and waved back as if I were indeed she, because Pocahontas was very beautiful in the cartoon. In real life, not so much. I looked her up on Wikipedia. The Triumph Scrambler behind us growls, speeds up, overtakes slowly. I watch it, watch the motorcyclist pass Michael’s window. Instinctively I pick up the Jiffy bag, put it inside my jacket, under my armpit. There’s no need. The flaxen-haired rider doesn’t glance in at us, at me, at it – he seems aware only of the road ahead. 

Friday, 22 May 2015

The Girls Take Manhattan - Nicola Doherty

The Girls Take Manhattan (Girls On Tour BOOK 5)The Girls Take Manhattan by Nicola Doherty
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The fifth instalment in this hilarious, romantic and unputdownable five-part series. Perfect for fans of Lindsey Kelk's I Heart... novels.

Join Poppy, Lily, Maggie and Rachel as they jet to New York - and face a big secret in the Big Apple.

When Lily invites the girls to attend a VIP event in Manhattan, they all jump at the chance. Poppy especially is thrilled to escape her impending 30th birthday with a weekend of Cosmos and red carpets. But none of them have any idea what Lily is really planning. Or how a single weekend can turn your life upside-down ... With non-stop fun and flirty frolics, this is a girls' weekend not to be missed.

Girls on Tour is an irresistible series of interlinked stories about four ordinary girls who have extraordinary fun in faraway places. Expect the unexpected, the utterly hilarious and unforgettable, on this rollercoaster ride of love, laughs, surprises and sparks. You have a VIP pass to join each girl's adventure, so pack your bags and buckle your seatbelts, because just about anything is possible...



The Girls on Tour series has finally come to an end with 'The Girls Take Manhattan' being the last in the series. I must say I am sad that this is the last one. I have grown to love the girls and their adventures over the last few weeks of reading the books.

In this part of the series the girls are all off to New York, Lily has managed to get the girls free accommodation in New York. (Anyone who has been there will know how fab this would be! The hotels are stupidly expensive and even then you would be lucky to be staying in the city centre!) They are all off for some BIG surprise from Lily, brushing with celebrities in her day job the girls believe its a red carpet event and can't wait!

The novella begins with the girls being upgraded on their flight over to New York. I was able to relate to this and really enjoyed reading this part of the book as when I went to New York I was lucky enough to be given a free upgrade. So I could totally understand the excitement from the girls. Even from the free breakfast and coffee, yes, I was just as excited!!!


Once over in New York the girls are just the same as everywhere else, eager for adventures and excited by what the days and nights might bring. The girls are in for a big shock at Lily's surprise for them - I don't want to say anymore to not spoil it for you. If you have read the others in the series then you must continue with this one.

I loved every minute of this series and think it was a great idea from Nicola. This novella was a perfect was to finish the series off, just like the others the story is face paced and the characters are believable, this time though I think I enjoyed it more as we had all the girls in the novella so I felt like I knew them a lot better.

I raced through this series and would encourage everyone to get it, it is perfect if you are on holiday or like me just dreaming that you were.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.

Friday, 15 May 2015

Rachel does Rome - Nicola Doherty

Rachel Does Rome (Girls On Tour BOOK 4)Rachel Does Rome by Nicola Doherty
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The fourth instalment in this hilarious, romantic and unputdownable five-part series. Perfect for fans of Lindsey Kelk's I Heart... novels.

What do you do when your boyfriend of two months cancels Valentine's Day?

If you're Rachel, you book a last-minute trip to Rome. Together with her friends Lily and Maggie, she's planning a relaxing weekend of culture and cappuccinos to take her mind off men altogether. But when she bumps into a figure from her past, Rachel finds herself on a Roman Holiday that features Vespa rides, hot tubs and some very unexpected consequences ...

Girls on Tour is an irresistible series of interlinked stories about four ordinary girls who have extraordinary fun in faraway places. Expect the unexpected, the utterly hilarious and unforgettable, on this rollercoaster ride of love, laughs, surprises and sparks. You have a VIP pass to join each girl's adventure, so pack your bags and buckle your seatbelts, because just about anything is possible...



So I have been able to catch up again with the girls and this time Rachel is in Rome. Slowly through reading these novellas I feel like I have travelled half way around the world and I have loved them. Rome is a place I have never been, I have visited Italy a few times but never got the opportunity to visit here, after reading this it has made me more determined to want to visit in the near future.

Rachel's boyfriend is off to a work conference over Valentines Weekend and although Rachel had agreed that Valentines day is overrated and an unnecessary expense, deep down she does wish that Oliver and her would do something. When he announces that he has to go away for the weekend she takes it with a pinch of salt. She decides that she should get away for the weekend. Most of her friends are going to be loved up except Maggie who jumps at the chance to go. She brings a long Lily one of her oldest friends who is visiting from the States.

From reading this novella Rachel came across a little ridged with her thoughts, she clearly has other ideas about this holiday to Maggie and Lily, they are there to party and have fun, whereas Rachel wants to stick to the guide book at all times. I enjoyed reading about Rachel and how her attitude began to change as the weekend went on. She started to become more confident and adventurous.

I really loved the ending of this novella, I thought that it was perfect and bought all aspects of the story to a close. I thought the characters were well developed and the story line was paced brilliantly. This is a typical chick lit that will have you feeling warm and fuzzy at the end. It is humourous but also has other dimensions which is brilliant.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.

Friday, 20 March 2015

The Glam Guide - Fleur de Force

The Glam GuideThe Glam Guide by Fleur de Force
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Fleur De Force started making YouTube videos in 2009 out of a passion for everything beauty and fashion related. What began as a fun hobby quickly turned into something much bigger, and she's spent the past five years seeking out the best products, top tips and easiest ways for us all to look and feel more fabulous. In The Glam Guide she shares all of her secrets and discoveries so whether you're looking for makeup tips, wardrobe cheats, first-date pointers or healthy lifestyle motivation, this is the book for you.




This book I had seen a lot of and desperately wanted to get my hands on a copy. As a blogger I have recently got into reviewing the odd beauty item and Fleur being a beauty Youtuber I was interested in her take on beauty. I have never watched any of her videos but I will now be searching for her as I enjoyed this book so much.

I really love the look of it, the front cover is just so girly and the theme follows throughout. I love the layout of the book, it is very easy to follow and has some great tips in.

Personally I love the travel part of the book, I am going away soon and I found this extremely interesting and useful. I really enjoyed reading about taking a chunky scarf on a flight even in summer, some of the ideas for the uses of it were really useful and I hadn't thought of some of the uses. I will certainly be taking a big scarf on my flight after reading this. The Glam Guide is very easy to read and the sections are short which allows you to dip in and out of this book. This is a book that I feel I will always be using as it is so useful and covers so many things a girl wants to know.

The overall look of the book is very professional, mature and clean. A lot of Youtube books seem to be attracting a younger/teenage audience. This is the first Youtube book that I have seen that has a more adult look to it and I feel the book has been targeted well for the late 20's early 30's audience. I also believe it will do very well in this age bracket.

I do have one negative about this book, (it's not actually that negative, more like an opinion) that is that I would have liked to have seen more photographs in the book. I do like the mix between illustration and photo's, however I feel it would have benefited from more high definition photographs.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending this in exchange for an honest review.